There is a complicated tension that we deal with in a theology of boundless grace, undeserved mercy, and unearned forgiveness. As Christians, in our rush to affirm the hope of God’s grace for sinners, we can inadvertently (or intentionally) silence the victims in the room. We want to move past the transgression and into the comfort.
When we talk about the well-known forgiven sinners of the Gospel, we talk about the mercy that God so quickly gives them. We find our identity in them, as well we should. The Prodigal Son returns to the loving arms of the father. The Tax Collector is called out of his tree. And the Woman at the Well is known and loved.
But I do wonder about those people they have sinned against. I wonder about the women that the Prodigal Son slept with in the name of sowing his wild oats. Do we know the pain and poverty that the Tax Collector caused entire families? And the Woman at the Well surely left some wreckage in her wake as she moved from one marriage to the next.
What are we to make of these people that get left behind? How did they cope with the sin that was visited upon them?
To be honest, it feels incredibly brave to be a woman out in the world right now. Just leaving my house and getting in my car makes me tired. I have not been sexually assaulted. But I am a pastor. I was a hospital chaplain. And I’ve heard so many horrible stories from women who have been harassed, raped, and molested. From the closed doors of pastoral counseling, I can tell you that it is far more common than we’d like to admit. I have come to believe that it is safer to just assume that a woman has been sexually assaulted if she is coming to speak to me—even if her original subject matter is unrelated. At some point in these conversations, a fellow sister in Christ will lean in and whisper to me, “You know, I struggle with this because something terrible happened.”
My heart is breaking right now for those women who are being told that nothing terrible happened or that if something terrible did happen, it was too long ago to matter.
I understand that our current moment is bound up in partisanship. But I also know that it is far from an anomaly that a woman accusing a man of assault is called into question. And actually, this makes a lot of sense. Rape and assault are such horrific things, such vile and evil acts. The fallout from naming the sin and accusing the sinner are catastrophic, and not just for those directly involved. The loss of job, family, and love are all too often the payment a victim receives for demanding to be heard.
So when I read about (and identify with) these Great Sinners of scripture, I wonder what the church has to say to those who have been on the other side of the sin. What does the church offer the raped and assaulted of the world?
Where in this hell is their Good News?
I continue to believe that it hangs on the cross. Jesus was bloodied and violated and left for dead. He was abandoned by those he loved the most. He felt alone as he cried out to God. When we talk about Jesus taking on the sin of the world, we mean that he took on not only the consequence of those who sinned, but the suffering of those who were sinned against.
When we rush past the wrongs that have been committed, we ignore those who have been violated. We do not want to deal with the crucifixion. We do not want to hear specifically about the pain that Jesus took on.
We want to head careening past the ugliness and dive headlong into the glory of Easter. Yet, sin does not work that way. Sin stays with people. Especially if they are the ones who have been sinned against. Especially if that transgression involved their bodies. Sin remains in a beastly way on the body.
Which is why looking to the wounded body of Christ may be the only comfort we can offer right now. That and listening. And believing.
When I have prayed with people who have been hurt in this way I often suggest that God knows their suffering because “He suffered there with you.” I truly believe that.
The cross is the place where the sinners and the sinned against are reconciled. And one does not exist without the other. The cross serves as one fell swoop: Jesus as Victim and Jesus as Forgiver. Which also means that forgiveness is not a requirement for those who have been victimized. They do not have to carry that burden too. If I have learned anything from listening to and praying with women who have been assaulted, it is that there are just some things that human beings cannot forgive this side of Heaven.
Thank God that Jesus took on both of these roles for all of our sakes.
COMMENTS
9 responses to “Where the Sinners and the Sinned Against Are Reconciled”
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Well done—again, Sarah! You have a wonderful gift of seeing the other side of the Gospel— the side that escapes so many of us. I can’t wait for the next book!
Thank you for writing this.
I’m not sure I’m the person to adequately address the questions posed. Especially these, “I wonder what the church has to say to those who have been on the other side of the sin. What does the church offer the raped and assaulted of the world?” But I will say this if we set aside the Gospel in any way out of a fear that it isn’t adequately sensitive to the needs of the victim we deny the Gospel to both the victim and the sinner.
My guess is there is something relevant about position and perspective here. We see discrete acts of violence and those who suffer them and we label those people victims. We likewise label the doers as sinners. But I’m not sure that is how Jesus’ Gospel is working. Ethan Richardson said it well a few years ago when he pointed out that every time we draw a line in the sand and accuse someone of wrongdoing. Jesus steps across that line to stand with that person. The image has stuck in my mind of people pointing at each other and drawing lines as fast as they can while Jesus crosses them over and over and over again to stand with the accused persons.
So how does that look in a hearing room? Jesus sits beside the Chairman. Then goes to sit with the witness. Then goes to sit behind the Senator being attacked by another Senator. Then goes to sit back at the witness table with the accused. And then when the accused accuses his accusers Jesus goes back to sit beside them.
Until we see Jesus behind the person we despise we have yet to understand Jesus. And I can attest to the fact that there are people in this town who have harmed me so deeply that I cannot see Jesus with them. So I also cannot forgive some things this side of heaven.
But as King David pointed our Shepherd is always leading us towards a table in the presence of our enemies. In Jesus’ Gospel the heaven you are going to will be full of your enemies. And maybe even wishing we could get there is a form of healing.
Thanks for this really wonderful piece.
“And the Woman at the Well surely left some serious wreckage in her wake as she moved from one marriage to the next.”
She didn’t divorce 5 times. She didn’t have that power. She could have been trapped in the custom of levirate marriage (see Tamar in Genesis 38) and the last male in the family line had refused to marry her. And I’ve that is the case – she is the one who has been left broken repeatedly.
Emma! Thanks for the clarification! I should have known this about her. She’s one of my favorites. Grateful for the information. That does shift the focus yet again.
Jesus said, “I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life.” Christians must therefore be concerned with truth because it is the very nature of our Lord.
A genuine travesty brought to light with accusations against the right person(s) is true.
On the other hand, a genuine travesty brought to light with accusations against the wrong person(s) is false. As is a false memory or a imperfectly reconstructed recollection.
Where Christ is, truth prevails, and all of history will someday be laid bare. We should always be compassionate with victims, but ultimately, truth matters most.
Thank you, Sarah.❤️
Thank you for this Sarah!
Thank you Sarah. I would like to thank the Lord too that I have not been the victim of a sin that could not be forgiven this side of heaven.