I have no idea why people watch Rev. I mean, my husband and I love it. But we are both clergy. So watching a show about an Anglican priest is cathartic. Our lives have been filled with weird churchy moments. We’ve had a Pentecostal Korean congregation secretly use our church at 5am for months without anyone knowing (I found them one morning on my way to spin class, like you do). And we’ve had parishioners walk right into our rectories (church owned housing) without knocking and tell us they didn’t like our paint color choices. Sure, there are moments of valor. I’ve seen my husband drag himself out of bed in the middle of the night to go hold the hand of a parishioner as they die. But, like Rev. so beautifully captures, there are a lot of days when ministry consists of cobbling together sermons and emptying trash cans.
And yet Rev. is so entirely compelling. And obviously their viewing audience is more than just a handful of church pastors looking for painful exposure therapy. I believe the appeal of Rev. is widespread because it documents something familiar to all of us. Rev. tells the story of what happens when our lives completely fall apart.
The show chronicles the life of an inner city London clergyman named Adam Smallbone. He’s not cute by TV standards. He is short and looks tired most of the time. Like all of us, Adam is a man full of dichotomies. He drinks (a lot) and overworks himself on behalf of a tiny congregation. He is a loving husband and father while also completely neglecting the attentiveness that those relationships need. There are at least 3 episodes where his wife complains about how little sex they manage to have. And in one humorous and painful scene, Adam lets the local homeless guy watch his infant daughter, who proceeds to give her nips of rum.
Adam’s earnestness and sin are so relatable that when his life begins to fall apart you don’t even realize its happening. Which, frankly, is a fair statement about any of our lives falling apart. One day, you realize that everything is coming to a screeching halt: divorce, loss of health, financial ruin. Unbeknownst to us, our personal demise is often methodical and years in the making. And yet when it happens, you find yourself standing there empty handed, with the reins of control lying at your feet.
For Adam, the beginning of the end was marked in the first few episodes. He had been hounded by church hierarchy who insisted that if he didn’t bring in more people, the church would be forced to close its doors. Imagine the pressure that must weigh on a person when such a gauntlet is thrown down. And while it would be easy to claim, as many of us do in our own personal breakdowns, that Adam “cracked under pressure,” I actually think Adam just decided to hold up the white flag of surrender. And then I think his give a damn got up and went.
In my own life, I find this possibility terrifying. What would happen if I just gave up getting it all right? We will fight tooth and nail denying reality when our lives are unforgiving and overwhelming. Culturally speaking, I think this might be why we have so many platitudes to make ourselves feel better when such turmoil unfolds in our own lives. When catastrophic life changes find their way into our purview, we tell ourselves to “go with the flow” or to “breathe deeply.” If we are feeling particularly holy we might spiritualize the whole ordeal and insist that we should just “give it to God.”
Of course, all of this is just our automated mechanism of control kicking into overdrive. Even when our lives fall completely apart, we want to have some way of qualifying it for a higher purpose. When the scary truth is sometimes things just suck and chasing the tail of justification will only make our situation more miserable.
Of course, there are loads of compelling television shows that document people’s lives falling apart. But Rev. is different. Because on this show we get to see what happens when a Man of God just gives up. I mean, it is acceptable to move to the woods and write poetry if you’ve spent your life being an investment banker or a corporate lawyer. But to give up on being a priest? That can’t be allowed. You’ve got to hang with the program, pray harder, preach better, and encourage others. You aren’t allowed to fall apart on the sidewalk. What the hell kind of Christian witness is that going to provide?
Rev. is so brilliant because Adam does fall completely apart. He crosses the threshold of lost control. In fact he dances across it.
In the second to last episode of the series (which should be mandatory viewing in seminary), Adam’s life is rapidly unraveling. The church is doomed to close. Adam has kissed a woman on his staff. His marriage is just barely recovering from the fall out. So Adam does what a lot of us do when the air of our lives is too thick to breathe: he takes a long walk holding a cross. And he ends up on a hill. And he starts to sing and dance.
I wish I could tell you that Adam sings and dances to a theologically profound hymn. But, instead he starts to belt out one of the goofiest church songs ever: “Lord of the Dance”. At first he looks awkward, just sort of singing and bouncing by himself. But after a moment or two, God joins him.
According to the writers of Rev., God is a joyful Liam Neesen, dressed in a mismatched track suit, holding what appears to be a morning beer. Let the record show, I’m on board with that idea. And when God sees Adam singing and dancing, God joins right in.
This scene in Rev. provides the opportunity for some of our scariest questions to be answered. Will God really continue to love us if we admit that we cannot keep our lives together? Will God abandon those who give up on His church? Will He always be with us? Even me?
Yes, it turns out. The answer is always yes.
Dance, then, wherever you may be,
I am the Lord of the dance, said he,
And I’ll lead you all, wherever you may be,
And I’ll lead you all in the dance, said he.
COMMENTS
12 responses to “When Your Life Inevitably Falls Apart: Watching BBC’s Rev.”
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Wow, powerful post. This is good stuff Sarah!
This surely makes me want to see if it’s showing here in the US … or online. Many thanks! It sounds awesome!
It is available on HuluPlus. Not sure if you can get it on regular Hulu. But, it was available for a while on the pay version. Might still be.
My carrier has BBC America, but not BBC. Does it ever come on BBC America?
That end clip is fantastic – can’t wait to binge watch this – looks like Hulu Plus has it for a small fee.
Rev is a really great show. Interested US viewers can head to Hulu- pretty sure you don’t need a Hulu Plus subscription to enjoy 🙂 Thanks for writing on this Sarah! I too am not sure why non-clergy like it, and in fact, it’s so real, I’m not sure I like it either- lol!
http://www.hulu.com/rev
Think it’s also on #AmazonPrime.
Good, if not necessarily pleasant, series. It “feels” authentic. Till a month and a half ago, I worked at a church that finally but inevitably died. Tiny urban congregation, albatross of a building, superficial interest from higher-ups who live in a bizarre bubble world, predatory behavior by “hip” congregations unburdened by the catholicity of the great commission ….it looks pretty-much like the series portrays it. But the kingdom of God arrives in the death of Christ. Sometimes we forget that the church is the body of Christ and that we are its members; we think that the church is a human institution and that we are responsible for making God’s promised goodness present in the world. “Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Life springing forth from death “born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.” That’s the gospel. Jesus invites us to trade our catastrophic dreams of success for participation in His triumphant failure.
Phillip, “But the kingdom of God arrives in the death of Christ.” You just slayed me, man. As soon as they started talking about the church closing (which was basically episode 1), I thought, please don’t do some ridiculously unrealistic turnaround. And then the whole ending with the Easter Vigil? Rev. was so right on. Thanks for sharing your story and thanks for speaking truth about the gospel.
Well now I’m officially printing out Sarah’s post and your comment,. Philip, so I’ll turn it up on my desk now and then.. Thanks.
So glad you posted this. That clip just wrecked me–such a poignant, perfect, gentle image of how God dances and grieves with us. And love that Adam is played by the guy who was the ornery friend in About Time and the awful Mr. Collins in Pride and Prejudice–what a resume!