For Tanya (his wife)
How hard it is for me, who live
in the excitement of women
and have the desire for them
in my mouth like salt. Yet
you have taken me and quieted me.
You have been such light to me
that other women have been
your shadows. You come near me
with the nearness of sleep.
And yet I am not quiet.
It is to be broken. It is to be
torn open. It is not to be
reached and come to rest in
ever. I turn against you,
I break from you, I turn to you.
We hurt, and are hurt,
and have each other for healing.
It is healing. It is never whole.
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COMMENTS
One response to “Wendell Berry, “Marriage” (1968)”
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Ethan,
Thanks for sharing this. This is really good. From the limited experience I have of being married (it’s only been five + years), I can relate to his sentiments in many ways. I don’t necessarily see my spouse as the “light” where other women have only been the “shadows”, but I can attest experientially to that constant uncomfortable feeling that somehow marriage is not to be rested in ever, that it is meant to be torn open (cf. Genesis 2:20 – 22) constantly and yet the healing from that tearing open is found not in marriage as an ultimate refuge, but rather the healing is found in the midst of marriage never quite being whole, never quite being “reached” or attained. Brilliant poem! Our rest is in Christ only and God allows this uneasiness and insecurity in marriage (learning to be naked in a post-fall world) so that we continue to keep Jesus and not our spouse as our true and ultimate Sabbath. Good stuff!