PHILADELPHIA—A new study from the University of Pennsylvania revealed Wednesday that 81 percent of Americans experience muscle tension, elevated heart rate, and profuse sweating when asked what kind of music they most enjoy listening to. “I got so nervous I ended up just blurting out, ‘Ween,’ and sure, they’re fine, but I have no idea why that was the first thing out of my mouth,” said 28-year-old Richard Rowe, a participant in the study in which a request to specify even one genre preference induced stress levels seldom observed outside of military combat zones. “Then I muttered something about liking ‘a lot ’70s guitar stuff.’ I hope that didn’t make me sound lame.” The doctors conducting the study recommended that people confronted with the question in real life should answer, “Yes, I like music,” and then quickly walk away.
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7 responses to “From The Onion: Majority of Americans Experience Profound Sense of Dread When Asked To Name Favorite Music”
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Does anyone have some insight to share with me, as to why this question produces anxiety?
There’s an evaluation implied in the question. It’s not really a question about preference – it’s a convenient way of sizing another person up, of putting them into a box, of judging them essentially – which always provokes anxiety/fear (what if I’m not good enough?). Music is particularly potent in this regard since it’s such a moving target (what’s ‘cool’ or ‘hip’ or ‘sophisticated’ or ‘ironic’ or even ‘beautiful’ changes from week to week). Hence the picture of Jack Black in High Fidelity, from the scene where he meanly deconstructs a customer in his record store who asks for one of Stevie Wonder’s lamest records.
OK, I see. That makes sense. I didn’t see High Fidelity, but I can picture Jack Black saying something nasty to an uncool person in an outrageous way. I’ve seen him do it in other movies.
I hate music, it’s got too many notes.
This ties in to PZ’s recent podcast about lounge crooner classics – I think it is profound that under grace we no longer need to regard the opinions of others, because the reality is so much worse than what they know, and God’s love even overcomes that. How much less will the accusations about our opinions about music stick!
I’ve always made a joke about my guilty pleasure songs list. I really like that song “On the wings of love”! I’ts exciting and that guy sings really good. It is actually important that we shed this need to have others approve of what we pretend to like, because it is difficult to like anything at all under that dynamic. People are mystified when I say that I like Bach but mostly I can’t stand Mozart. I really do like Bach – I studied counterpoint and such and I find it rich and beautiful and brilliant, whereas Mozart seems contrived and formulaic a lot of times. I don’t care that it might be unpopular to hold that opinion. I notice my kids are constantly wanting me to like their music, which doesn’t always happen. They think they aren’t allowed to like it if I don’t, which is balderdash.
Furthermore, discerning what we like is extremely important – I think that one of the essentials of the gospel is that it opens us up to the possibility of choosing the right because we want it from the heart, which is the only true virtue. Right chosen from coercion and threat is chosen for a secondary reason – avoidance of punishment. Grace appeals to love, while law appeals to guilt. This onion article pretty well nails that idea!
“Top five musical crimes perpetuated by Stevie Wonder in the ’80s and ’90s. Go. Sub-question: is it in fact unfair to criticize a formerly great artist for his latter day sins, is it better to burn out or fade away?”