The Onion Reports: New Study Reveals Most Children Unrepentant Sociopaths

Very funny little piece from The Onion (ht JD): MINNEAPOLIS—A study published Monday in The […]

David Zahl / 12.8.09

Very funny little piece from The Onion (ht JD):

MINNEAPOLIS—A study published Monday in The Journal Of Child Psychology And Psychiatry has concluded that an estimated 98 percent of children under the age of 10 are remorseless sociopaths with little regard for anything other than their own egocentric interests and pleasures.

According to Dr. Leonard Mateo, a developmental psychologist at the University of Minnesota and lead author of the study, most adults are completely unaware that they could be living among callous monsters who would remorselessly exploit them to obtain something as insignificant as an ice cream cone or a new toy.

“The most disturbing facet of this ubiquitous childhood disorder is an utter lack of empathy,” Mateo said. “These people—if you can even call them that—deliberately violate every social norm without ever pausing to consider how their selfish behavior might affect others. It’s as if they have no concept of anyone but themselves.”

“The depths of depravity that these tiny psychopaths are capable of reaching are really quite chilling,” Mateo added.

Read the whole thing here.

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COMMENTS


One response to “The Onion Reports: New Study Reveals Most Children Unrepentant Sociopaths”

  1. Kelty says:

    Brilliant, brilliant!

    Surprisingly Augustinian really. Has The Onion been reading The Confessions?

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