Posts tagged "Marriage"

Wendell Berry, “Marriage” (1968)

sleeping-woman-meditation-1904.jpg!BlogFor Tanya (his wife)

How hard it is for me, who live
in the excitement of women
and have the desire for them
in my mouth like salt. Yet
you have taken me and quieted me.
You have been such light to me
that other women have been
your shadows. You come near me
with the nearness of sleep.
And yet I am not quiet.
It is to be broken. It is to be
torn open. It is not to be
reached and come to rest in
ever. I turn against you,
I break from you, I turn to you.
We hurt, and are hurt,
and have each other for healing.
It is healing. It is never whole.

A Little Is Enough (for Pete Townshend)

A Little Is Enough (for Pete Townshend)

I’ve just finished reading Pete Townshend’s brutally honest autobiography Who I Am, and one section struck me as good Valentines Day fodder. Which may be a little ironic, given that Townshend and The Who are not known for making terribly romantic music. But by way of context, the end of the 70s found Pete in a pretty low place. The Who had suffered the death of drummer Keith Moon (and would soon endure an incredibly tragic riot at one of their concerts in Cincinnati), Pete’s drinking and drug use was off the charts, and that, combined with his philandering, had…

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Don’t Gimme Shelter

Don’t Gimme Shelter

If I burden myself with a little help-mate during my adventures, it is not out of sentiment or caprice – it is that he has many fine qualities of his own that he has overlooked in his obsession with me. Indeed, any reputation I have for mental acuity and sharpness comes, in truth, from the extraordinary contrast John so selflessly provides.

–Sherlock, Sherlock, Season 3, Episode 2

Two items appeared on Andrew Sullivan’s blog Sunday morning that seemed, in proximity, to sharpen each other. The first item repeats a suggestion by Tom Ehrich, an Episcopal priest, who wrote in the Washington Post…

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A Little Interfaith Marriage Humor on Cheers

One wonders how many times the Book of Concord has been mentioned on a prime-time sitcom… ht TB:

Mike Tyson and His Beloved Trainer

Mike Tyson and His Beloved Trainer

If any professional athlete has the gift of gab, it is Mike Tyson. Words have proven to be profoundly significant in his life, from the infamous interviews about his relationships with the women in his life, to cussing out/threatening opponents in press conferences, to his now rather candid reflections on his crazy life in documentaries and stage shows and now his new autobiography. Grantland‘s Jay Caspian Kang’s recent piece on Tyson’s life and career is an extremely thoughtful observation on the complexities which mark Iron Mike’s life. The article especially sheds light on Tyson’s relationship with his former trainer/guardian, Cus…

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Vince Gill Gets Told One More Time About Jesus (and Divorce)

Vince Gill Gets Told One More Time About Jesus (and Divorce)

This week country music star Vince Gill made news for his confrontation of the Westboro Baptist protesters. While this ‘colorful’ group of believers normally likes to target military funerals, this week they had their sights set squarely on Gill and his adulterous ways. But when they showed up to protest at his Kansas City concert last week, Gill decided to confront and engage with them. As he approached the group one female protester asked him, “What are you doing with another man’s wife? Don’t you know that divorce plus remarriage equals adultery? Jesus said that.”

For those of you who don’t…

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Marital Expectations and Baby Bottle Cleanliness

Marital Expectations and Baby Bottle Cleanliness

“I have waited my whole life to be oppressed” admits Lynn Messina in the opening line of her incredible Modern Love column that appeared in the Times this past Sunday. In “Chained to Hearth or Warmed by It?” she comes clean about the ramifications that her yearning for victimhood–or predilection for self-pity (aka justification by suffering)–has had in her relationship with her husband. But it is also a story of grace triumphing over law in a very visceral sense. Some might say the writing is on the wall when Lynn describes her pre-parenthood agreement with her husband, Chris. Because he…

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Start-Up, Stay-at-Home Visionary: Solace for the Perfect Mom

Start-Up, Stay-at-Home Visionary: Solace for the Perfect Mom

The New York Times Magazine’s cover piece for this past week is a rejoinder to one from 2003, about mothers “opting out” of ambitious, lucrative career fields, to become stay-at-home mothers. This time, ten years later, Judith Warner catches up with and spotlights three women in particular who want a way back into their careers, and the picture given is definitely (and mercifully) mixed. Of the three women, one is divorced and living in a condo, one is living her dream as the CEO of her own non-profit, and another just lost her new job, worrying how the kids will…

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Another Week Ends: Geistless Zeit, Tony Soprano vs. Walter White, Coach Taylor as Gentleman, Netflix’s PRISM, Marriage Apps, Hemingway, and Christianity as Marketing Label

Another Week Ends: Geistless Zeit, Tony Soprano vs. Walter White, Coach Taylor as Gentleman, Netflix’s PRISM, Marriage Apps, Hemingway, and Christianity as Marketing Label

1. To start off, Henry Allen over at The Wall Street Journal describes a contemporary cultural inertia he’s felt. An ironically self-described ex-”Ziggy Zeitgeist”, he’s now in limbo, the cultural doldrums, ht VH:

Now I am disquieted. It’s not that I see things changing for better or worse, for richer or poorer, or even not changing at all. It’s something else: The most important thing in our culture-sphere isn’t change but the fact that reality itself is dwindling, fading like sunstruck wallpaper, turning into a silence of the dinner-party sort that leads to a default discussion of movies.

Is some sort of cultural entropy…

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Law and Grace in the Competition of Marriage (and Personal Identity)

Law and Grace in the Competition of Marriage (and Personal Identity)

Hard to believe we’ve never posted this section from Paul Zahl’s Grace in Practice before. As with most of the provocative second half of that book, it goes well beyond abstractions and gets uncomfortably close to the bone–in the best possible way. The language here has to do with marriage, but you could easily substitute a variety of other relational contexts:

Men and women encounter a serpent-ridden wilderness of Eden when they enter into marriage. Competition for need-fulfillment and attention squanders huge amounts of energy in resentment and suppressed antagonism. The nature of the law is to place every single marriage…

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Another Week Ends: Successful Blueprints, Redemptive Politicians, Don Draper’s Truth, Marital Advice, Humanist Blasphemy, Mavis Staples, Bono, and Dropping Keys

Another Week Ends: Successful Blueprints, Redemptive Politicians, Don Draper’s Truth, Marital Advice, Humanist Blasphemy, Mavis Staples, Bono, and Dropping Keys

1. This is embarrassing to admit. As much as I love The Replacements, it is The Wilson Quarterly that has truly been rocking my world this past week. Two articles in particular, both from their Spring issue, are worth mentioning here. First, there’s Sarah Courteau’s “Feel Free to Help Yourself”, in which the author surveys not only the history of self-help but allows herself to dabble in it sincerely. All very relevant and, well, helpful–but also not nearly as patronizing as some of us might be tempted to be. She writes, ht WB:

Self-help, along with the rest of the culture,…

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Murder Your Spouse and Other Practical Tips for a Happy Marriage

Murder Your Spouse and Other Practical Tips for a Happy Marriage

“The word of the cross for marriage is the word of perpetual absolution. It is the word that forgives the existence of the other.”

Paul Zahl, Grace in Practice

In the next two weeks, I will be attending two weddings. Because I will merely be a guest at both weddings, I have no legitimate basis for insinuating myself into the toasting. There is thus no captive audience for my unsolicited advice, nor (unfortunately) is my advice ever solicited.

But marriage advice is readily available; it depends only on your attention span. A quick Google search will give you anywhere from “6 Scientific Tips…

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Cigarettes, Cupcakes, Narcissicism, and Sympathy: Reflections on Judd Apatow

Cigarettes, Cupcakes, Narcissicism, and Sympathy: Reflections on Judd Apatow

Yes, the Oscars are just around the corner and yes, there are still a bunch of nominated films I haven’t seen either. Amour and Lincoln and Django are at the top of the list (at least I caught the hilarious and bloody “Djesus Uncrossed” this morning!), though I have no idea how they’d possibly surpass Silver Linings Playbook in terms of grace and intelligence and entertainment value. Suffice it to say, it was a good year for cinema. One film that’s stuck with me that hasn’t been mentioned with the rest of the pack is Judd Apatow’s This Is 40….

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Five Golden…Themes! What We Just Couldn’t Get Enough of in 2012

Five Golden…Themes! What We Just Couldn’t Get Enough of in 2012

One of Mockingbird’s most distinctive features is the repetition. Like Christmas itself, we’re trying to point that one “old, old story,” that ancient theme, as we see it dug up time and again. It’s dug up in all sorts of places, of course, from 18th century poetry archives to slasher films, from church basements to top-tier corporate office towers. But it’s still resonating a singular focus–the Gospel–from these unforeseen, albeit obscure, sources.

Despite the wide-spanning scopes and intentions of some of our favorite “news” sources, the same thing unwittingly tends to happen. After all, reporting the news means telling and retelling…

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The Blessed Union of Two Dead Singletons

The Blessed Union of Two Dead Singletons

One of the recent trending articles over at The Atlantic’s website is one entitled, “Single People Should Get to Have Weddings Too.” It’s not the first time they’ve talked explicitly about the singlehood issue. This time they claim that the “extraordinary rise of living alone” as “the biggest modern social change we’ve yet to identify,” describing its liberating appeal and the trenchant cultural norms standing in its way. Adult lives, Millie Kerr writes, are judged on benchmarks beyond singlehood—marriage, babies, homebuying—which means single people don’t get celebrated. She asks, “When will barometers of celebration reflect the growing number of singletons?”

I…

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