1) Carmelo Anthony will finish third in NBA MVP voting, causing him to reconsider the pencil thin, John Waters mustache look.
2) Tim Tebow will hit the public speaker circuit full-time…and be awesome at it, of course.
3) The NHL will pull the Keyser Soze trick and convince the world that it never existed.
4) The Los Angeles Dodgers will finish second in the National League West and lose in the wild card round of the playoffs, despite having spent the gross national product of Chile on player salaries this off-season.
5) Metta World Peace will elbow someone in the head.
6) Jeremy Lin and…























Tam: oh man, that last paragraph. I really needed that today. Thanks....
Marianne Brian: Loved it. So, so true! I love Ethanisms, as well!...
David Zahl: Wonderful, wonderful piece, E. I'm almost tempted to call it 'charming...
Rebecca W: I saw this column and loved it too. Thanks for highlighting his book s...
Shawn Smith: Well said!...