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Super Bowl 50 Prediction “Creed-Bomb”-Style: Can Cam “Take Me Higher”?…or Will Peyton Ride Into the Sunset “With Arms Wide Open”?

Super Bowl 50 Prediction “Creed-Bomb”-Style: Can Cam “Take Me Higher”?…or Will Peyton Ride Into the Sunset “With Arms Wide Open”?

’86 Chicago Bear “Super Bowl Shuffle”, meet the “Carolina Creed-Bomb”. Think photo bomb, except that the “bomber” in this case comes out of nowhere, gets right in your face, and goes full throttle Creed in all their cringe-worthy lyric glory. Panther’s linebacker Ben Jacobs is credited with birthing the creedbomb. He will magically appear in front of players and coaches and do a spot on, full rasp, Scott Stapp impression. Rolling Stone, perhaps unfairly, named Creed the worst band of the 90’s (after all, Nickelback was around back then). Nonetheless, an effective creedbomb must include Eye of the Tiger-level cheesy…

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From The Onion: Boss Wants Friendly, Relaxed Company Culture In Place By Friday

Some hilarious work/play resonance from America’s Finest News Source. Reminds me of the time I watched a clergyman berate his staff for a perceived lack of joy at the Christmas Eve service, sadly sans tongue in cheek. Sigh:

nvkoit2smgcnjm50yeboSAN MATEO, CA—Warning of severe consequences if he didn’t see results, Pantheon Digital Consulting COO Daniel Abelson, 59, told employees Monday he wants a relaxed, friendly company culture implemented by the end of the week, sources within the organization confirmed. “I don’t care how you make this a laid-back, fun place to work, just get it done, and get it done fast,” Abelson said during a meeting of the company’s various department heads… “If we have to stay late every night this week figuring this thing out, then that’s what we’re going to do. And if we don’t have a casual, cheerful workplace environment all wrapped up by end of day Friday, everybody’s coming in this weekend.” Abelson reportedly dismissed a project manager later that day when the employee failed to loosen up after Abelson demanded she do so.

Click here to read the whole thing.

The Exact Middle Ground Between Lying to Yourself and Lying to Other People

Apologies in advance for harping on resolutions–low hanging fruit and all that–but I figure we only have another couple days until we hit the sell-by date. Plus, Oliver’s rant was too rich to pass up, esp given the passage from Law and Gospel that follows it (not to mention this post from a few years ago):

“We tend to lower the bar of God’s righteous Law, in the hopes that fulfilling one or a small set of them will be enough to gain the Almighty’s ear. Of course, it’s impossible to keep all of the Bible’s various moral teachings before us at any one time. Selectivity is a foregone conclusion, and the criteria for such selection will always be pride-driven, at least in part. But it is also a defense mechanism, dividing up righteousness into manageable, seemingly do-able parts. Like the Rich Young Ruler who walks away from Jesus in great sadness, we’d certainly like to parse and snip our way into an achievable spirituality—one that doesn’t drive us to the grave every day of our lives.”

Martin Luther vs. English Christmas Carols

Merry Happy Christmas!

The (Lost) Christian Origins of the The Elf Code by Buddy the Elf

The (Lost) Christian Origins of the The Elf Code by Buddy the Elf

Originally submitted in partial fulfillment of a degree in Tinker Training
&
Presented here for those who, like Jovie, share my affinity for elf culture*

I know you’re probably a human raised by humans. I, however, am a human raised by elves. Before journeying through the Candy Cane Forest and the Lincoln Tunnel on my embarrassingly public quest to find my dad (who was on the Naughty List!!!), I lived at the North Pole. I was training to be a tinker and trying to fit in as a toy-maker with my oversized yet under-nimble fingers. Discovering I was human was as shocking as…

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Instagram Husband

Fishing for Secular Napkins (with Bill Maher, Stephen Colbert, and Elaine Benes)

Fishing for Secular Napkins (with Bill Maher, Stephen Colbert, and Elaine Benes)

A scene from Seinfeld has been replaying in my mind this past week. One from the final season, when things got a bit cartoonish, in which Elaine finds out something surprising about her on-again-off-again mechanic boyfriend, David Puddy:

George’s suggestible appetite is a priceless touch. The key lines, though, are:

Jerry: So you prefer dumb and lazy to religious?
Elaine: Dumb and lazy, I understand.

As was their practice in all things, the writers didn’t let Elaine off the hook. They weren’t looking to exonerate her discomfort or Puddy’s piggishness so much as play the situation for laughs. The two of them are shown…

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A Couple of Calvin and Hobbes (for Advent)

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calvin-hobbes-santa-argue-goodness

The Jesus Eraser

Via The Naked Pastor, ht LL:

jesus-eraser

Inside-Out on Center Stage: The Wardrobe of a Sinner

Inside-Out on Center Stage: The Wardrobe of a Sinner

Last week, The New Yorker published a brief Daily Shout titled “I Let My Toddler Dress Me, And It Led To The Destruction Of Civilization.” In this frank address from wife to husband, she describes the calamitous results of her child’s wardrobe choices for her: first, she loses her job, then the government falls, and soon the world has spiraled into a lightless warzone steeped in anarchy. This chaos is all due, of course, to some “mismatched knee socks and a Santa hat” worn to work.

On Day One, “unfortunately, the fun idea of having your kids dress you had spread…

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From nerdcorerisingmovie.com

“The Dopest Innovation Since the Slicing of Bread”: Question Bedtime by MC Frontalot and the Development of Nerdcore Hip-Hop

Picture the Viper Room, an iconic, purposefully run-down concert venue on the Sunset Strip in Los Angeles, filled with the fans from the current show, a rap group I didn’t recognize. The fans of the band on stage are in front, and they’re a pretty diverse mix of Los Angelinos who are all dressed for a hip-hop concert. Hanging around the back, near the walls, looking at their phones, talking to one another, wearing ironic t-shirts referencing inscrutable internet memes and coding jokes,  are the fans waiting to see Random aka Megaran and the headliner, MC Frontalot—the father of nerdcore…

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From The New Yorker

rightperson