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About Charlotte Getz

Charlotte Getz is a stay-at-home/work-from-home mom. She is the Editor-in-Chief at Rooted Ministry and an un-trained but making-it-work mother to Ford (4) and Margot (3). She and her sweet family currently reside in Long Beach, CA via Auburn, AL via Savannah, GA via Birmingham, AL. Charlotte is the co-author (along with Stephanie Phillips) of Unmapped: The (Mostly) True Story of How Two Women Found Their Way Home While Lost at Sea. You can follow her on Twitter and Instagram @charlottebgetz

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Author Archive
    
    Feeling Pretty, Feeling Loved

    Feeling Pretty, Feeling Loved

    Most of the time, I do not feel anything close to “pretty.” On some rare days, I feel like a bombshell the likes of Margot Robbie or Lauryn Hill. But most days, I feel a little ashamed when I look in the mirror. My eyes are too puffy. The skin under my chin is starting to descend down my neck. I look tired, all of the time. My upper arms are too jiggly and I pretty consistently appear to be at least several weeks pregnant. Most days, I put on a light layer of make-up and resignedly think to myself,…

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    Shell of a Woman

    Shell of a Woman

    My husband and I met in Savannah, Georgia and lived there for six eventful years. Every summer in Savannah — steaming wet with humidity — the cicadas descended en masse, a plague to the Coastal Empire. They hummed like maracas this familiar refrain that still reminds me of impossibly late nights, warm beer, and the lemon-sweet scent of southern magnolias. The first sign of the summer cicadas was not their song, however, but the crisp empty shells left behind from their molting. On limbs, leaves, poles, railings, their shells were everywhere — in the exact likeness of their former selves…

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    A Woman vs. Her Roomba: The Battle for Biblical Femininity

    A Woman vs. Her Roomba: The Battle for Biblical Femininity

    Several months ago, my husband Alex made a peculiar suggestion for his approaching birthday: he wanted a Roomba.

    The notion was mildly annoying to me at the time (I wasn’t sure why), but I chose to brush it off as a disturbing lack of imagination on Alex’s part. You want a vacuum for your birthday? Okay, grandpa.

    Several weeks ago the thing arrived, and I have never seen my betrothed operate with such rabid demeanor. Excitement and anticipation emoted through Alex’s every gesture. He darted around the house picking up any odd end that might get in the Roomba’s path. He flipped…

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    Mixtapes from Anyone Who is Not Your Husband: Sounds of Earth and Heaven

    Mixtapes from Anyone Who is Not Your Husband: Sounds of Earth and Heaven

    There are facts about my story that will never change this side of heaven, barring total tragedy in some cases. And forgive me for saying so, but while the permanence of many things in this life is blessed, that same permanence can also be awful.

    FACT: I will always have my two children. Praise Jesus, and also holy hell. Until the day I die, I will always be worried about them, responsible for them, and expected to put their needs before my own. The full weight of this appointment as “parent” is overwhelming. And again, excluding some unspeakable event, this will…

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    It Was Not -- Never Will Be -- A Silent Night

    It Was Not — Never Will Be — A Silent Night

    Around this time last year, I tried explaining to my mom why I was so exhausted (aside from the obvious child-rearing and work responsibilities). There had been countless weddings that year, bachelorette parties, bachelor parties, girls’ trips, family trips, work trips, and conferences galore. What’s more we live in California – and our people are for the most part on the East – so when we are asked to do anything at all, it almost always requires a cross-country flight.

    “It’s not always going to be this way,” I said to my mom, looking for encouragement. “Next year will be different,…

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    The Art of Memoir and a Divine Glimpse of Stefani in Gaga: Five Foot Two

    The Art of Memoir and a Divine Glimpse of Stefani in Gaga: Five Foot Two

    I spent the better part of my 20s working with teenagers in one form or another. Whether as a youth minister, a creative writing teacher, or a photography TA, one dazzling thread remained the same: Gaga. I spent time with kids who didn’t just adore her music, they worshiped her. They felt freed in some way by who she allowed them to be; she allowed them to be themselves (or whatever version of themselves they wanted to be) in all their average weirdness. In Gaga: Five Foot Two (a documentary released last month on Netflix), one of Lady Gaga’s fans…

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    "Jesus Take the Wheel" Is Not Enough

    “Jesus Take the Wheel” Is Not Enough

    Carrie Underwood has offered many the willy-nilly soul “spinning on a thin black sheet of glass” a sense of relief since her 2005 hit, “Jesus Take the Wheel.” There is an immediate comfort to the notion that when we’re “running low on faith and gasoline,” God might step in as if he were a sub, tagging us out of the game of life; as if to say, “Thanks for keeping us on the right track, soldier! You rest a while. I’ve got it from here.”

    Upon closer observation, this is a pretty flimsy picture of a God who “created the heavens…

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    When Deep Waters and Parking Lots Become Church

    When Deep Waters and Parking Lots Become Church

    In 2007, almost ten years after her death, it came into more public knowledge that Mother Teresa experienced a terrible sense of separation from God throughout the majority of her ministry. Less than three months before receiving the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979, she wrote in a letter to one of her spiritual confidants, “Jesus has a very special love for you. [But] as for me—The silence and the emptiness is so great—that I look and do not see,—Listen and do not hear.”

    Under the arresting weight of my own Dark Night tendencies, it gives me great comfort that although Mother…

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    Party of Five and the God of Party Poopers

    Party of Five and the God of Party Poopers

    When life gets tough, I like to watch other people’s lives get tougher. In Germany or Avenue Q, this is called shadenfreude; in America, this is called haphazardly engaging in political discourse on social media, or watching just about any popular TV drama. Forgoing the Covfefe hoo-ha, I recently committed instead to a teen soap opera — a precious genre rife with death and tragedy and youth pregnancy scares.

    Several episodes deep into a show like Party of Five (1994-2000) and my day-to-day seems pretty alright. The walls begin to lean blessedly outward instead of in. I can breathe, and I…

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    The Cure for Snakes on a Plane

    The Cure for Snakes on a Plane

    Last week, aboard a 747 bound from LAX to JFK, I almost stood up and asked the flight attendant to turn the plane around à la Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids, “There is a colonial woman on the wing, I saw her! THERE IS SOMETHING THEY’RE NOT TELLING US!”

    In general, I am the sort of person who likes to at least appear to be in control, calm, composed, collected, and I don’t like to make a scene unless it’s a Broadway re-enactment. But on that morning, my panic had reached a fearsome boiling point of inner-hysteria, and I feared that if…

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    Beneath the Pelagian Surface of Moana: A Conference Breakout Preview

    Beneath the Pelagian Surface of Moana: A Conference Breakout Preview

    Allow me to channel SNL’s Bennett Brauer (Chris Farley):

    I don’t “read much” and I don’t
    “look the part” I’m not
    “seminary trained” or even
    “theologically inclined.”

    I don’t “know what ‘Pelagian’ means” and I
    “don’t look comfortable in front of an audience” I
    “sleep in my make-up” and
    “also with stuffed animals” I guess I
    “talk too much” and I
    “sweat when I’m nervous” and I
    “can’t remember names” because I’m
    “too concerned with myself” even though I
    “don’t bathe regularly” and I’ve
    “let myself go.”

    I haven’t “learned my lesson” my
    “coffee hasn’t kicked in yet” I haven’t
    “kept calm” or
    “found my bliss” but I’m
    “talking at this conference anyway.”

    On the surface of things, Moana (Disney)…

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    Sin + Grace + Sin + Grace = Holiness?

    Sin + Grace + Sin + Grace = Holiness?

    Sarah Bessey, author of Jesus Feminist and Out of Sorts, recently published this article about her conviction to give up wine cold turkey. When I read it, I immediately experienced two conflicting emotions:

    Glad it’s her who gave up the hooch and not me.
    It is possible I should give this article a second read.

    Bessey reveals in So I Quit Drinking that she had been a lover and consumer of wine throughout adulthood, and it “never bothered [her] in the least,” until it did.

    …when it comes to conviction, I have found the Spirit to be gentle but relentless.

    Change and transformation is an ongoing…

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