That time again! Click here to check out last year’s. Babylon Bee has a pretty funny parody up, too. To shop on Amazon this year in a way that benefits Mbird, use this link.

stranger_christmas_mock_2For your fiercely devoted and possibly a little unstable mother, especially if you grew up in the 80s: Stranger Things Christmas Sweater

For the post-grad urbanite in your family who’s looking to up their nativity game while remaining safely non-committal, faith-wise: Hipster Nativity or Playmobil Nativity

For the cousin who’s going to need some serious caffeine if they’re going to make it through ten straight screenings of Rogue One: The R2-D2 French Press

For the parents down the street who think the Elf on the Shelf is too subtle: This

For the spouse who tells you they feel a cooking phase coming on (and will need some forgiveness when it doesn’t quite pan out, pun intended): More Theology & Less Heavy Cream by Robert Farrar Capon and some St Louis Gooey Butter Cake to eat while reading. Also a gift subscription to The Mockingbird so they’ll get the Food & Drink issue as soon as it ships in January.

For your girlfriend on Facebook who keeps posting memes about how 2016 was the worst year ever, and you suspect could use some laughs and some hope (and maybe a little perspective): Churchy by Sarah Condon. Duh!

For those who’ve already bought Churchy and More Theology and want to flaunt their affiliations a bit more this year–or just need something cool to wear to bed/the bus stop: “W.H. Auden Was an Episcopalian” t-shirt or 1517’s classic “Weak on Sanctification” one

For your recently retired father who your mother tells you needs a project (and loves The Beatles): Yellow Submarine Lego set

For the Holly Jolly woman in your life, who could really use a break right about now: Custom set of scented mini-candles from Diptyque Paris or if those are too pricey possibly this

For the music lover who reads Mbird: Jon Parks‘ truly terrific new (PZ-inspired!) Mercy EP or a copy of Liz Vice’s There’s a Light on vinyl (Liz will be playing a set at MbirdTyler this Feb!).

For anyone wishing to really bring it at the EpiscoDisco in April: A “Brian Eno Died for Your Sins” or “Grace” (Jones) t-shirt

For that poor sap at your office who honestly thought Winds of Winter would be out by now, but prefers their fantasy epics with a dash more New Testament influence anyhow: Mice Templar by Bryan Glass and Michael Avon Oeming

For your college roommate who’s gone silent on social media after the divorce and could probably use a pick-me-up: Based on a True Story by Norm MacDonald, Born a Crime by Trevor Noah or Today Will Be Different by Maria Semple

hgg16todxmascards_largeFor the assistant pastor who did your daughter’s wedding and claims to be a real movie buff so here goes nothing: The Criterion release of Krzysztof Kieślowski’s Dekalog. 583 minutes of Old Testament-inspired brilliance. (In Polish).

For your stepsister who really believed the dude she brought home last Christmas was “the one”: How To Be A Person in the World by Heather Havrilesky or The Course of Love by Alain de Botton

For your brother-in-law who keeps referring to the notion of substitutionary atonement as “cosmic child abuse” after a single semester of graduate study (and despite the massive student debt he’s accruing): The Crucifixion by Fleming Rutledge

For those brave souls looking to groom/style themselves in Scott Jones-like fashion: Harry’s Winter Winston Set (sponsor of Unorthodox, ‘natch). A pair of these bad boys, too. Maybe even these?

For the Mockingcast, Mockingpulpit, PZ’s Podcast or Same Old Song listener who’s got some cash and wants to get just a little bit closer: Grado Labs headphones

jhhn_st_tribble_figureFor your husband, since there’s absolutely no way you’re getting your hands on a Nintendo Classic Edition console at this point: Super Mario Bros. Heat Change Mug

For the soft-spoken Wendell Berry fan in your midst who knows a ton about beer and bees, AKA, What I’m Getting Ethan Richardson for Christmas This Year: Filson Log Carrier Bag

For the uncle who reappeared mysteriously half-way through your childhood: Forever Words: The Unknown Poems by Johnny Cash

For the couple in your small group who’re always complaining about their commute and you can’t help but notice are kind of at each other’s throats: The Audible recording of Gregory Boyle’s Tattoos on the Heart

For the boldly sinning but underemployed divinity school dropout who’s thinking about starting a podcast: Reformation 500 Beer Stein or Here I Stand: Wars of the Reformation board game

For your nephew in grade school who seriously needs to move on from Minecraft and Ninjago already: Funko’s Kylie the Possum action figure or Home Alone Coloring Book.

For Anyone You Truly Love: Earlybird Tickets to Mockingbird’s 10th Anniversary Conference in NYC (rates increase Jan 1!)