Pretty classic stuff. Strikes me as great sermon material. Read the whole thing here:

Briefly overcoming a near-continuous streak of disorganization, area man Terry Oberlin, 37, got his life together for exactly 36 minutes, sources confirmed Monday. According to family reports, Oberlin’s bills for the month were paid, the living room was vacuumed, the dishes from dinner were all washed and put away, and the father of two was sitting in his favorite chair in the living room without a single thing in his life out of place.

“It was nice to get some chores out of the way,” Oberlin told reporters later, acknowledging that for more than half an hour he experienced no regrets, despair, or frustration of any kind. “Felt really good.”

Witnesses indicated that upon entering into his relaxed state, Oberlin—who had no e-mails to respond to and was finally caught up with everything at the office—spent a full 90 seconds staring quietly at nothing in particular, and then approximately 8.5 minutes paging leisurely through the evening newspaper.

During this period, he did not once concern himself with his finances, his in-laws, or his dental coverage. And as his mind began to wander freely, he neither relived painful humiliations from his past, nor felt any anxiety about his personal shortcomings.

Household sources reported that Monday’s 36 minutes of perfect order came to an end when the phone rang and Oberlin picked up the extension in his living room. It was his mother-in-law, calling to say their family vacation plans would have to be changed, since her best friend Gwyneth had just been hospitalized.

p.s. for some more quality comic relief, check out the Superuseless Superpowers blog (e.g. healing punch, etc). ht JD.