Kathryn Greene-McCreight’s Darkness Is My Only Companion is an astounding account of her battle with mental illness (severe depression and bi-polar disorder), with the final chapters filled with resources for those who are suffering from mental illness/depression, and suggestions for those who have friends, loved ones, clergy, and parishoners who suffer from mental illness/depression.
Greene-McCreight’s ability to verbalize–with amazing acumen–her experiences, offers the reader the chance to engage with that very tumultuous and almost-despairing existence. Almost-despairing. Darkness brims with the expectant hope in the power of the Triune God. While the reader is cast upon the undulating sea of depression and mania that is coursing through this one woman, this one woman is consistently returning to the hope in the One, Almighty, Powerful God, the Source of comfort for the afflicted, the Hidden in our Suffering Abba Father. The author does not leave the reader only in her experiences; thus, this is not a book only about experience. The author is a continual beacon pointing to Jesus Christ and the Cross; thus, the book is about Jesus and His love.
Kathryn Greene-McCreight has her finger on two points of sensitivity about mental illness within the church. First, generally, Christians view mental illness as a direct result of bad-actions/lack of actions. As an ordained minister and a PhD in theology, one would naturally expect that she would be the least likely candidate to suffer, especially from mental illness. She knows her Bible, she knows her Doctrine, and she loves–evident through every page–Jesus and knows that He loves her. In spite of all this knowledge and love, she still suffers; thus, she asks the necessary question: Why am I still suffering? To this question, the church, in general, has failed to provide an adequate answer. The common, Christian advice given to those Christians who suffer from Mental Illness/Depression is: read your Bible more, be joyful, repent of your sins, evaluate the effectiveness of your quiet time (or start a quiet time). Mental Illness/Depression is seen as the result of one’s own actions; thus, correct the action and rid oneself of nasty result. The stage is now set for the overwhelming introduction of guilt on top of one’s illness.
Second, admitting and seeking clinical help for mental illness/depression is a source of shame. I’m left questioning: Why? Using Greene-McCreight’s words to answer,
“…we are ashamed to admit that we can’t handle illness, especially mental illness, on our own. It can be devastating blow to one’s sense of self, after all, to admit to mental unrest. But when we have a bad cough we are usually not similarly ashamed. Why, when we are mentally ill, should we not react with the same dispatch in calling the doctor as we would when we find a lump in the breast….But what makes us think the Christian can or should be able to handle such difficulties alone, much less any other difficulty? The assumption that one can go it alone is at heart Pelagianism….Pelagianism shrank the grace of God” (146).
Kathryn is a sufferer, and points other sufferers to the One Who Suffered and is present in our suffering.
Darkness Is My Only Companion should be on everyone’s bookshelf from pastor to layperson.
–Lauren R. E. Larkin, Postpartum Depression sufferer.
COMMENTS
11 responses to “From One Sufferer to Another… Darkness Is My Only Companion”
Leave a Reply
William Cowper in his utter mental “weakness” has given the church more than 10 million “well adjusted” souls.
I look forward to reading this book. I was diagnosed with a mild version of bi-polar last summer after going through an intense 6 week bout of clinical depression. By the grace of God, I found a doc who prescribed the right medication, before I lost my career or worse. I thank Jesus for leading me through this and for providing the meds that brought me rapidly out of the black hole of depression. Unless you have been there, it is hard to understand the hopelessness and bondage of it. I used to go to a church where the pastor negatively commented on Christians taking psych meds. It is an odd thing that the seeking of medical attention for a physical ailment is A-OK, but it is somehow sinful and unfaithful to seek medical care for a chemical imbalance in the brain. I don’t go to that church anymore, and have since found an Anglican church that is more receptive to brokenness in the saints. I have been an adult lay Bible teacher for the past twenty years and have followed Christ for considerably longer. This isn’t about spiritual commitment. This kind of thing happens to believers/unbelievers alike. If you know someone who is suffering from severe depression, love them for Jesus’ sake and get them to a professional. For heaven’s sake, don’t quote a scripture to them or admonish them “to snap out of it.”
Many thanks to Lauren and Gene for their descriptions of their own experiences of mental darkness. MB benefits so much from your kind of frankness and courage and willingness to share in a very direct and vulnerable way. Thanks.
PS. For these interested in reading more at MB about this book, take a look at this earlier post by Sean (March 4):
http://mockingbirdnyc.blogspot.com/2009/03/hope_03.html
I love this site why because I got a lot of information from this site
flowers
Truly moving Lauren. Now you know what you buy me for Christmas.
I think this idea that we can somehow will ourselves out mental illness is insanity, as if any of us willed our ways into it in the first place.
The idea of willing our way out often comes in the form of some sick advice like, “he who is in you is greater than he who is in the world” etc. The word of God is not rightly divided when the new life in Christ is ever preached prescriptively.
I would argue pastoral care, especially in cases of mental illness, needs to be kept on the objective word of the Gospel as oppossed to some sort of subjective power within.
Hey John: thanks for your kind comments. Although, i feel that I really didn’t share anything personal at all!
Jacob: done.
i agree, too, with what you wrote. the depressed and mentally ill are (in many cases) aware of their “lackings”…they already have guilt for feeling the way they do; thus, adding christian, patronizing colloquialisms (like the ones you quoted) only really add insult to injury. rather, as you have demonstrated in your comment, the Cross and the enveloping of Christ’s Love for us WHILE we are still sinner and still are sufferers is the only true healing balm.
I love what you wrote, “I would argue pastoral care, especially in cases of mental illness, needs to be kept on the objective word of the Gospel as oppossed to some sort of subjective power within.” This jives with what Gene wrote, “For heaven’s sake, don’t quote a scripture to them or admonish them ‘to snap out of it.'” The quotation of scripture and the admonishment imply that the one who is “ill” just needs to wake up, get right, and that they needed something from the outside to spark that inner strength, the “subjective power within”. The cruel thing about these approaches is that our wills are bound, and, in the case of the mentally ill/depressed, that very thing that is being solicited (the mind) is sick (almost a double binding). That’s why, what you wrote, Jacob, about the objective Word of God is so important. Preaching Jesus and the Cross, prayer, and Love Love Love, as we walk along side those going through this tumultuous journey.
Gene, thanks so much for sharing your experience. I feel that you will really appreciate book.
I am so glad I found this post and know that others fight this terrible disease.
I too have been in the darkness of depression, and all that goes with it. This illness destroys families, I know, because, I lost a family because of it, a family that I long for. It took me nearly a lifetime to realize I had this disease, and by the time I did, it was too late; I had already caused my family pain, pain that they live with today. Not only the depressed person suffers, but, those they love, suffer too. I hope one day, that God will heal us and bring us back together.
Thank you for this, Laruen.
Lauren,
I just wanted to come back and thank you for posting the information about the book. I will surely buy it. And, thank you for giving even more light to this disease.
That was me deleting the post above – clicked "publish" before I was done!
Lauren, thanks for sharing. I love that book and I think everyone should read it.
For those of you who are in pastoral care, chaplaincy work, or just interested in psychology and counselling, I would also recommend Pastoral Care for Depression: Helping Clients Heal Their Relationship with God by Glen Moriarty. The book looks at a) how depression affects people's emotional relationship with God and b) how negative images of God can be changed through therapy to promote healing. It deals soundly with clinical and practical-spiritual concepts while being extremely accessible.